CIN: Piss Off Miami, Burrow Come to Papa
Reports have emerged that the Miami Dolphins have contacted the Cincinnati Bengals multiple times over the past couple of weeks about a deal involving Cincy’s top overall pick in the 2020 NFL Draft. Despite being told that the pick is unavailable, the Dolphins have refused to take no for an answer. Miami began to ramp up their negotiating efforts two weeks ago by calling three times a day. When this strategy proved to be fruitless, the Dolphins doubled down on their efforts. They began to call five times a day and sent letters filled with trade offers to the Bengals front office that read:
“Dear Cincy, I wrote you but still ain’t callin’
I left my cell, my email, and my trade offer at the bottom
I sent two letters late last week, I hope you got ’em
There probably was a mix up at the front office or somethin
Sometimes there’s too much going on before the draft, I got it
But anyways, fuck it, We want that pick, how much it gonna cost us?
Our team’s got a lot of draft picks, we’ve been really saving up
And If I had the first overall pick I would certainly listen up
A pick swap this year and two first round picks in twenty-twenty one
Or make me an offer and that shit is done
C’mon man just think about it
At least write me back, I’m out here dyin’
I know you probably hear this everyday, but I’m Burrow’s biggest fan
I got a room full of Joe’s LSU posters and his pictures man
I even like that shit he did at Ohio State, that spring game was crack
Anyways I hope you get this, hit me back
Just to chat, truly yours, Joe’s biggest fan
This is Stephen Ross”
After the first couple of letters, the Bengals staff began to burn them in the office fireplace. However, for every letter they burned, two arrived in the mail to replace it. The frustrated staffers requested the USPS halt their mail shipments to prevent the letters from arriving, but the letters continued to appear. The Bengals front office responded by boarding up the letter slot on their front door. The letters briefly stopped and owls began to congregate en masse outside of the headquarters. After two days of no letters, the bottled up letters magically burst through the boarded up mail slot and flooded the Bengals front office, making a very big mess.
A source within the Bengals organization referred to the Dolphins tactics as “aggressive and desperate.”
