Darnold’s First Kiss Ends in Mono
More details have emerged regarding the fateful evening that Jets quarterback, Sam Darnold, contracted mononucleosis. Mononucleosis or “mono” is colloquially referred to as “the kissing disease” for its propensity to be spread through saliva.
The weekend before Darnold’s mono diagnosis, the second-year quarterback had reportedly gone on a first date to the Coney Island amusement park.
“I had always wanted to go because it’s just something you’ve got to check out while you are in New York. But it always seemed kind of lame going alone, so I asked Sarah if she wanted to go with me sometime. I know she’s from New York and had probably gone a thousand times already… but I checked my phone after practice and she told me to pick her up at 7 on Friday. And I was like, ‘Alright!’”
Sam and Sarah Hinkleman have known each other since elementary school. Sarah’s family moved from California to New York when she was in middle school, but she and Sam have always stayed in touch. The two reunited at USC, where Sarah was frequently the quarterback’s date to formal functions.
“Sarah’s great, she’s always been there for me. Sometimes I wonder if we were ever meant to be more than just friends…”
Darnold was teased mercilessly by his Trojan teammates for his inability to seal the deal with his long-time lady friend.
“She was clearly into him and he was obviously into her. We didn’t get why he never took a shot. Sam isn’t much of a ladies man. Probably because he’s kind of weird looking. Still, I don’t think he went on a single date the whole three years he was in school. You don’t need to be Prince Charming when you’re quarterback at USC! That’s why we teased him. It wasn’t mean-spirited or anything like that. We were just trying to peer pressure him into taking the leap. That’s what you do for your boys. He’ll thank us in the long-run.” –former USC teammate, JuJu Smith-Schuster.
And Sam was thankful. On the night of his Coney Island date, the young quarterback strolled to his car just as the sun was setting over the Hudson River. He stuffed one of his hands into the depths of his USC letterman jacket and fumbled around for his car keys. Before opening the driver side door, he paused and reflected on the burgeoning New York dusk. The last echoes of sunlight reverberated in an explosion of warm pigments across the summer sky. It was the kind of sunset you only see on canvas. He thought of his friend, JuJu, and the role he played in this moment. Darnold finally realized the constant ribbing of his teammate and the fruition of his budding professional career ignited in him the self-confidence he needed to ask out his childhood friend. Tonight was the night. Decades of sexual tension was materializing into the relationship Sam had always secretly desired. Nothing could possibly go wrong tonight. A smile spryly spread across Darnold’s face as he thought about telling the whole team the story of his first kiss. And without wasting another second, he shifted the gear on his mom’s ’96 Toyota Camry into drive.
