Jim Boeheim Announces Rubber Underwear Sponsorship with Pampers
After pissing himself during an upset win over Duke, Syracuse coach Jim Boeheim partnered with Pampers to create a pair...
Ripp Aspen
Celtics Bemoan 1-1 Series Tie Going into Home Advantage
BOSTON, MA -- What the hell happened to the Boston Celtics? Who turned one of the proudest NBA franchises, loaded...
Metta World Peace: I Really Hate Diet Coke
Hi guys, this is Metta World Peace the NBA player formerly known as Ron Artest. I had a 15-year professional...
Giants’ Gettleman Consulted Magic 8-Ball for Draft Advice
"Should I take Dwayne Haskins?" NEW YORK CITY, NY --- The enigmatic Giants GM, David Gettleman, employed a curious strategy...
Instead of Retirement, Tom Brady Dreams of Glorious Death in the Arena
"What we do in life echoes in Canton for eternity." NEW YORK, NY -- It seems that the only question...
Harden Blames Refs for Parking Ticket
OAKLAND, CA -- A distraught James Harden took the stand Sunday evening to accuse the referees of negatively influencing the...
LaVar Ball to be the President of Basketball Operations for the Los Angeles Lakers
LOS ANGELES, CA -- After discussing with GM, Rob Pelinka, Jeanie Buss has picked LaVar Ball to be the next...
Clemson Raises Tuition to Build Medieval Castle Complex for Football Players
CLEMSON, SC -- Students at Clemson University woke up to a shocking email Thursday morning. Clemson’s President, James P. Clements,...
Patriots Reportedly “Very Intrigued” by Russian Spy Whale
FOXBOROUGH, MA -- The New England Patriots are reportedly “very intrigued” in Russian’s enlistment of live animals for espionage purposes....
Alabama Defense Runs After Letting Child Cancer Survivor Score During Spring Game
TUSCALOOSA, AL -- Coach Saban put the fourth quarter of the annual spring game on hold after an ugly defensive...
