LSU Coach: Texas Did Not Provide Half Time Orange Slices
AUSTIN, TX — After a statement win over the Texas Longhorns in Austin, LSU’s head coach, Ed Orgeron, had some choice words for his Big 12 host.
“After traveling more than… dujwhda [unintelligible]… 400 miles in the spirit of friendly competition, we finally get to our locker room and what do we find? No sets of toiletries, no fresh towels, not even some dang’ol souvenir bags. But, I’ll tell ya, the worst was when we came in from halftime. No orange slices. I’ve been a coach now for almost thirty years and I have never seen such blatant, doggone disrespect from an opponent in all my life. I’ve coached in some hot blooded rivalry games, Ole Miss-Mississippi State, USC-UCLA, Miami-FSU… and the host team has always provided complimentary orange slices at halftime. Oranges may have not been the freshest in those games, but they was some orange slices nonetheless.
My boys played a good half of football and were looking forward to their Capri Suns and lil’ plastic baggies full of fresh, delicious orange slices. Do you know what it’s like to look your boys in the eye and tell ‘em there ain’t no halftime orange slices. Damn near kasnfdasj sfjlam [unintelligible] kills a man. I know we don’t treat opposing teams like that at LSU. We lay out souvenir bath robes, fresh towels, and a little buffet of home cooked Cajun food in our visiting team locker room. We’ve even started to light some nicely scented candles, to really give that ‘Welcome Home’ kinda feeling. That’s just good Louisiana hospitality. Let’s just say, our team managers know the staff at the Baton Rouge Bed Bath & Beyond on a first name basis, hehe.
And at the end of every game, we give out one free drink ticket, redeemable at any LSU concession stand, to every member of the opposing team. They also get their choice of a snack, either a Cliff Bar, a bag of Cheetos, or a Nerds Rope. Them boys work up quite an appetite on the field!
I ain’t expecting every school to treat visiting teams like LSU. That’s just something that I love about being an LSU Tiger, but I expect every school to show us respect by providing orange slices at halftime.”
