Patriots Reportedly “Very Intrigued” by Russian Spy Whale
FOXBOROUGH, MA — The New England Patriots are reportedly “very intrigued” in Russian’s enlistment of live animals for espionage purposes. Just hours after Norwegian fisherman found a beluga whale outfitted with spy equipment, the Patriots front office requested a meeting with the Russian Embassy. Bill Belichick allegedly said, “We need to get some of that shit, call the Russian Embassy. See if they’ve got anything you can put on squirrels. There are tons of those rodents around Foxborough. Perhaps they’d like to help out the home team?”
This is a developing story.
