Redskins Install Penny-Pinching Turnstiles at Stadium
Skins fans sucked into the money stealing vortex of FedExField after passing through the turnstiles. LANDOVER, MD --- At the...
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Twilight Zone: Kyle Lowry Gets No Help in the Fourth Quarter
MILWAUKEE, WI -- Fourth quarter. Bright lights. One man puts his life on the line for his team. This man...
Lonzo Ball Reportedly Watching Trebuchet Film to Improve Shot
LOS ANGELES, CA --- Lonzo Ball has a notorious shooting problem. The point guard’s inability to score from range baffles...
Joe Paterno Statue Found at Above Ground Pool Party
LUMBRIDGE, PA --- The bronze statue of deceased college football icon, Joe Paterno, has been found at an above ground...
Jay Cutler’s 7 Tips on Dodging the Check
Hey guys, this is Jay Cutler, former quarterback of the Chicago Bears and current husband of Kristin Cavallari. Today, I’m...
Joel Embiid Out for Game 7 with Injured Funny Bone
"Excellent ocular contest at the rim. Just make sure you stand a bit further away next time in case he...
LSU’s Will Wade: That definitely wasn’t me
BATON ROUGE, LA--The embattled LSU basketball coach employed an interesting defensive strategy in court yesterday afternoon. Wade was caught dead...
Jim Boeheim Announces Rubber Underwear Sponsorship with Pampers
After pissing himself during an upset win over Duke, Syracuse coach Jim Boeheim partnered with Pampers to create a pair...
Metta World Peace: I Really Hate Diet Coke
Hi guys, this is Metta World Peace the NBA player formerly known as Ron Artest. I had a 15-year professional...
Giants’ Gettleman Consulted Magic 8-Ball for Draft Advice
"Should I take Dwayne Haskins?" NEW YORK CITY, NY --- The enigmatic Giants GM, David Gettleman, employed a curious strategy...
