LA Court Demands MLB Award Dodgers World Series

LOS ANGELES, CA — The Los Angeles City Council recently approved a measure demanding MLB commissioner, Rob Manfred, retroactively award the 1978, 2017, and 2018 World Series championships to the Los Angeles Dodgers. This resolution comes in the wake of revelations that both the Houston Astros and Boston Red Sox employed sign stealing operations to fuel their respective World Series victories against the Dodgers. However, this does not explain the request to name the Dodgers the winners of the 1978 World Series, which was won fairly by the Yankees in six games. LA councilwoman Joan DeNario explains the committee’s rational:

“We were really trying to drum up a lot of sympathy for our Dodgers, who were ROBBED of two consecutive World Series. And we thought no one would read the whole document so, we tried to sneak something in the fine print at the bottom. An extra World Series for our trouble seems like a fair arrangement to me — for all the pain and misery, ya know? Kind of like how a judge can award extra compensation to a victim for “pain and misery.” We felt as if our case would easily slide under that legal classification. Everyone’s mostly dead from that World Series anyway. No one would really even care.” 

Manfred has been dismissive of the LA council’s decision. He even suggested that maybe the Dodgers make better signs if they are so easy to steal. 

“The Astros and Red Sox were wrong to systematically steal the signs of their opponents and they will be punished accordingly. But, come on, it didn’t take the Rosetta Stone and a couple of Navajo wind talkers to break the code on the Dodgers’ signs. Did they really think that the catcher giving the pitcher a C-shape with his hands was a clever symbol for a curveball? Or that the third base coach’s sign for steal was him mimicking a running motion with his arms… It’s just ridiculous. I don’t even know how they got to the World Series with those signs.”